The Patriarchy Movement

When I first discovered the patriarchy movement (via Vision Forum and blogs), I was in awe. They seemed to have created this "Leave it to Beaver" type family where the father worked, came home, made the rules and was in total charge. The mother had the children and well took care of everything else.

And I loved it. I'm a rules person. I like to have a list of things to do. And the information I saw gave me clear instructions: higher education is not important/detrimental to a young woman, marry as soon as possible, do not hinder pregnancy in any way, wear dresses only, submit to your father and then your husband.

I saw pictures of women dressed in beautiful Victorian garb. Of young families with their children and I wanted that. It looked so pretty. So happy.

Then I started to actually read the blogs (not just look at the pictures!) and read the books they sold. And it didn't seem so pretty anymore. I was sad for the women in that "movement", I was angry that they would raise daughters in such an environment.

Why is this movement growing? Do people not have the same criticisms I do?

Criticism #1: Women should not be discouraged from higher education.

I'm not saying everyone should go to college or needs to in order to have a fulfilling career. But, the job market is extremely competitive and if a women needs to support herself (and doesn't want to barely scrape by on minimum wage), she will need to earn some type of degree (or learn a trade at a community college).

The most frequent arguments I hear against women attending college are:
A woman's role is to keep the home. A degree isn't needed for that.

Let's face it. The man who was a perfect fiance could turn out to be a cheater/loser/abuser and you need to support yourself. Also, people are laid off, accidents happen and it's not easy (or often a possibility) to live off of savings indefinitely or depend on receiving worker's comp/disability.

I frankly would want to know that should a crisis arise I can care for my family. If my husband becomes hurts or walks out, I want to know that I have a career/trade that I can fall back on and feed my children and pay all of my necessary bills.

And this has nothing to do with submission. Is submission important? Yes, there can only be one person as the "head" of the family (and biblically it's the man). But that doesn't mean that the woman has to be an idiot blindly following her man wherever he goes and risking the welfare of her children.

Part 2 coming soon.

Guess I should finish it...

Today I found out that "That Mom" is going to host a series of podcasts about the Patriarchy movement. I need to finish reading So Much More ( and read the others one), so I can actually know what they are talking about.

More of my views on Patriarchy coming soon...

I just found a wonderful new blog.

True Womanhood in the New Millenniumhttp://truewomanhood.wordpress.com/

Where the comments are just as good as the posts! I have a feeling I will be on the computer for quite a while reading all of the archives.

Notable Favorites:
“women don’t need to go to college to be wives and mothers” sigh, again (Karen)

Comment # 21

I have read enough on the internet to see that some of the “girls should not go to college” mindset folks sometimes use reasons that seem to be out of a spirit of fear– that their daughters are going to be coerced by worldly influences or not be submissive to their future husbands just because they went to college. To me, that seems fearful because the parents do not seem to trust that they have raised a daughter who is capable of making her own decisions. If they have raised her as a godly woman in the LORD, they should trust that IF she does decide to go to college

# 19

I do think that there are motives behind many of these teachings that are not biblically based.

I wonder who gets to decide in each case when it is okay for a woman to go to college and when it is not okay? Who is the final judge and arbiter?

““normative practice of Christians sending their daughters to college is generally wrong.” In other words, college for girls is, most of the time, outside of God’s will.”

So, sometimes it is okay for women to go to college. Does anyone know what makes it okay in those certain exceptions? And, why do they get to make the rules and terms?

I have been troubled by some teachings coming out of this movement that tell daughters that they are to serve their fathers and even their brothers until/if a husband comes along. Really, serve their brothers? Serve their fathers? What if God has given them a gift of being single so they can be single-mindedly devoted to serving HIM? I mean, the Bible tells us that the married man and woman is concerned about how he/she may please their spouse where the single man or woman is more concerned about how he/she may please the Lord.

Then, it stands to say that a single woman’s main focus is the Lord and serving HIM, not serving her father/brother as some sort of surrogate husband. There is nothing wrong with helping those around us and doing things to bless others but when it is expected that a daughter/sister is there to serve *ME*, then I do not think that is grounded in scripture.

It troubles me that in this patriarchal movement we have brothers becoming an authority over their sisters. It troubles me that it seems that it is being taught that fathers are the head of their daughters when the Bible only teaches that the only “head” a woman has is her husband. The analogy leads us to the Church and it shouldn’t be extrapolated onto all male/female relationships. It troubles me that the mother is pretty much out of the picture and that it is taught that a mother’s authority over her own children is given to her by her husband when scripture clearly teaches that a mother’s authority over her own children is given to her by God. I do not see that a father has more authority over the children than the mother because scripture tells children to obey their parents and to honor their mother and father and Proverbs is full of examples of sons, even grown sons, listening to their mother’s wisdom, teachings and advice and how a disobedient son is a disgrace and shame to his mother. I am troubled by how older daughters are expected to be surrogate moms to their siblings while their brothers get to choose what it is they want to do. Don’t boys grown up to be fathers/husbands, too? Or is that a secondary calling on a man whereas it is a primary calling on a woman?

There are many things taught that are not grounded in the whole of scripture and this college thing is just one more of them. Is it wise to send our sons to college? What are the reasons? Are not they the same reasons for not allowing our daughters to go to college? It seems that the number one reason a daughter should not go to college is because the are in danger of developing an “independent spirit”. What exactly does that mean? That they can make decisions concerning their life and are responsible to the Lord for those decisions?

And you just have to read this post and comments!
"Visionary Daughters"


Hat Tip: A Gracious Home