Dear Roomies

I really hope you can work out your relationship. You guys were such a great couple. I feel for you really.

But please, I DON'T HAVE ANY SORT OF NEED/WANT to hear about your relationship drama.

I don't care who broke up with who or who needs therapy.

Just pay your rent on time and wash your own dishes.

Thanks!

free pudding

Food Lion is having a sale this week- if you buy 5 Kraft Items (there's a list) then you can get $5 off that order (using a tear pad coupon).

Well they also have the 4 pack Kraft Handi Snacks 10/$10. I LOVE those things, but never buy them because I think they're too expensive.

So today I went (you have to go to customer service for the coupon, but I've had no problems getting two) to 3 stores (I was running errands today, so I didn't go out of my way) and purchased 30 packs of pudding snacks (that's 130 individual cups of pudding) for .60 cents!! I only had to pay for tax.

I think I'm pretty stocked for a year.

To him:

You can't fix me
Take me as I am
I'm not lonely enough
to sacrifice my self

The Patriarchy Movement

When I first discovered the patriarchy movement (via Vision Forum and blogs), I was in awe. They seemed to have created this "Leave it to Beaver" type family where the father worked, came home, made the rules and was in total charge. The mother had the children and well took care of everything else.

And I loved it. I'm a rules person. I like to have a list of things to do. And the information I saw gave me clear instructions: higher education is not important/detrimental to a young woman, marry as soon as possible, do not hinder pregnancy in any way, wear dresses only, submit to your father and then your husband.

I saw pictures of women dressed in beautiful Victorian garb. Of young families with their children and I wanted that. It looked so pretty. So happy.

Then I started to actually read the blogs (not just look at the pictures!) and read the books they sold. And it didn't seem so pretty anymore. I was sad for the women in that "movement", I was angry that they would raise daughters in such an environment.

Why is this movement growing? Do people not have the same criticisms I do?

Criticism #1: Women should not be discouraged from higher education.

I'm not saying everyone should go to college or needs to in order to have a fulfilling career. But, the job market is extremely competitive and if a women needs to support herself (and doesn't want to barely scrape by on minimum wage), she will need to earn some type of degree (or learn a trade at a community college).

The most frequent arguments I hear against women attending college are:
A woman's role is to keep the home. A degree isn't needed for that.

Let's face it. The man who was a perfect fiance could turn out to be a cheater/loser/abuser and you need to support yourself. Also, people are laid off, accidents happen and it's not easy (or often a possibility) to live off of savings indefinitely or depend on receiving worker's comp/disability.

I frankly would want to know that should a crisis arise I can care for my family. If my husband becomes hurts or walks out, I want to know that I have a career/trade that I can fall back on and feed my children and pay all of my necessary bills.

And this has nothing to do with submission. Is submission important? Yes, there can only be one person as the "head" of the family (and biblically it's the man). But that doesn't mean that the woman has to be an idiot blindly following her man wherever he goes and risking the welfare of her children.

Part 2 coming soon.

Guess I should finish it...

Today I found out that "That Mom" is going to host a series of podcasts about the Patriarchy movement. I need to finish reading So Much More ( and read the others one), so I can actually know what they are talking about.

More of my views on Patriarchy coming soon...

New blog links

I've added "Like Merchant Ships" and "But I don't drink coffee" to my blog roll. I read these as often as I can and have learned a lot from them.

Hope you enjoy!

Frugality

I am beyond cheap! I am very excited about a recent kmart deal. Here's what I've purchased so far:

day 1

4 Purex Laundry detergent (had $1 coupon) 4/10 (on sale)
1 pack AAA
1 pack AA
3 packs of Always
1 bottle of Oil of Olay soup

If you subtract my 2 $10 gift cards I only paid 24.15

---

Day 2

1st purchase:
1 8count pk of AA batteries (75cent off Duracell coupon)
2 count always panty liners (bogo free coupon in Sunday's paper)
subtract the $10 gift card/coupon they give you (some cashiers give a gc some just subtract the $10,today she subtracted)

I only paid .91 cents!

2nd purchase:
1 8count pk of AA batteries
2 packs of Crest toothpaste (the reg. size w/ a scoop trial size) ( w/ $1 off coupon from Sunday's paper)
Subtract $10 with the duracell/proctor gamble sale

I only paid 1.66 cents.


Day 3

2 Olay Body Wash (the ribbon kind) ~$10 (2*5)
AA Batteries ~$5.50
Total:15.50
-$1 olay coupon
Final Total: 14.50

Order 2
AA Batteries ~ $5.50
Always Pads ~ $10 (2*5)
Total: 15.50
-$5 always coupon (BOGO)
Final total: 10.50

Order 3
AA~$5.50
2 pk Always~ $9.98 (2*4.99)
Total: 15.48
-$4.99 (Always BOGO)
-.75 Battery coupon
Total: 9.74

Order 4
AA~5.50
Crest ~ $5.98 (2*2.99)
Total: 11.48
-$1 crest coupon
-.75
Total:9.73


Grand Total: $44.47 - $40(today's gc)=$4.47!

I did buy 2 additional Sunday papers to get more coupons. But even adding the extra $3 (2 * 1.50) I still got a good deal!

Baby Got Book

Dinosaur Study Unit -Pre K

As a nanny I like to do educational activities with my charges. Here is a dinosaur study unit:

Goal: Introduce different dinosaurs
Practice tracing/beginning letter formation
Learn the concepts extinct and fossil


Tools/Books: Dinosaur Time
Summer Bridge Pre-K to Kindergarten
How do Dinosaurs Get Well Soon?
How do Dinosaurs Eat their Food?
Fossils Tell of Long Ago
National Geographic: Really Wild Animals- Dinosaurs and other Creature Features

Schedule:

Day one: pg 9/10 of Summer Bridge (or practice tracing circles and triangles on own).
Read about Stegosauruses and learn about their key features (used Dinosaur Time).

Day Two: Pg 11/12 of Summer Bridge (or trace lines and choose rectangles from a page of misc. shapes)
Learn about Pternaodons (researched on web general information)

Day Three: pg 12/14 of Summer Bridge (trace 'U's and ovals)
Review Dinosaurs

Day 4: Discuss the terms fossils and extinct
Watch National Geographic DVD

Day 5: Have a Dino Dig:
Make fossils out of clay ( take chicken bones or use sticks, forks, etc to create indentations in clay). Leave outside in sun to harden. Place hardened clay in a bucket/box full of sand (without the children). Then let the children dig up the fossils.

Notes: I did this brief unit study with a four year old. While I have a Summer Bridge book, you can easily reproduce the tracing and shape activities on your own with lined paper.
We only did this two days a week, so this unit lasted a little over two weeks. I found that a slower pace kept the 4 year old's attention better.
We read the two picture books throughout the unit. While the storyline had nothing to do with learning about dinosaurs, they were great 'fun' books to read while doing this unit.
Fossils Tell of Long Ago was too advanced for Pre-K, but it was good to look at the illustrations of fossils and for me to gather information from.

Cost: Less than $10 (without Summer Bridge) or about $20 (if you buy a Summer Bridge book). I found all of the books/Dvd at the library.
I do reccomend buying the Summer Bridge book. It is FANTASTIC. It has several (over 150) pages of worksheets, flash cards, activities, etc. It's a great supplemental tool when planning mini units such as these.

I just found a wonderful new blog.

True Womanhood in the New Millenniumhttp://truewomanhood.wordpress.com/

Where the comments are just as good as the posts! I have a feeling I will be on the computer for quite a while reading all of the archives.

Notable Favorites:
“women don’t need to go to college to be wives and mothers” sigh, again (Karen)

Comment # 21

I have read enough on the internet to see that some of the “girls should not go to college” mindset folks sometimes use reasons that seem to be out of a spirit of fear– that their daughters are going to be coerced by worldly influences or not be submissive to their future husbands just because they went to college. To me, that seems fearful because the parents do not seem to trust that they have raised a daughter who is capable of making her own decisions. If they have raised her as a godly woman in the LORD, they should trust that IF she does decide to go to college

# 19

I do think that there are motives behind many of these teachings that are not biblically based.

I wonder who gets to decide in each case when it is okay for a woman to go to college and when it is not okay? Who is the final judge and arbiter?

““normative practice of Christians sending their daughters to college is generally wrong.” In other words, college for girls is, most of the time, outside of God’s will.”

So, sometimes it is okay for women to go to college. Does anyone know what makes it okay in those certain exceptions? And, why do they get to make the rules and terms?

I have been troubled by some teachings coming out of this movement that tell daughters that they are to serve their fathers and even their brothers until/if a husband comes along. Really, serve their brothers? Serve their fathers? What if God has given them a gift of being single so they can be single-mindedly devoted to serving HIM? I mean, the Bible tells us that the married man and woman is concerned about how he/she may please their spouse where the single man or woman is more concerned about how he/she may please the Lord.

Then, it stands to say that a single woman’s main focus is the Lord and serving HIM, not serving her father/brother as some sort of surrogate husband. There is nothing wrong with helping those around us and doing things to bless others but when it is expected that a daughter/sister is there to serve *ME*, then I do not think that is grounded in scripture.

It troubles me that in this patriarchal movement we have brothers becoming an authority over their sisters. It troubles me that it seems that it is being taught that fathers are the head of their daughters when the Bible only teaches that the only “head” a woman has is her husband. The analogy leads us to the Church and it shouldn’t be extrapolated onto all male/female relationships. It troubles me that the mother is pretty much out of the picture and that it is taught that a mother’s authority over her own children is given to her by her husband when scripture clearly teaches that a mother’s authority over her own children is given to her by God. I do not see that a father has more authority over the children than the mother because scripture tells children to obey their parents and to honor their mother and father and Proverbs is full of examples of sons, even grown sons, listening to their mother’s wisdom, teachings and advice and how a disobedient son is a disgrace and shame to his mother. I am troubled by how older daughters are expected to be surrogate moms to their siblings while their brothers get to choose what it is they want to do. Don’t boys grown up to be fathers/husbands, too? Or is that a secondary calling on a man whereas it is a primary calling on a woman?

There are many things taught that are not grounded in the whole of scripture and this college thing is just one more of them. Is it wise to send our sons to college? What are the reasons? Are not they the same reasons for not allowing our daughters to go to college? It seems that the number one reason a daughter should not go to college is because the are in danger of developing an “independent spirit”. What exactly does that mean? That they can make decisions concerning their life and are responsible to the Lord for those decisions?

And you just have to read this post and comments!
"Visionary Daughters"


Hat Tip: A Gracious Home

other views on dating vs. courting.

Other bloggers recent viewpoints on dating vs. courting:

Another friend and I were discussing Biblical Courtship and why it was totally impractical. I've raised two teens and I'm telling you it's a feeble-minded idea. The thing is, if you trust your kids so little that you have to watch them 24/7 lest they start humping each other on the dining room table thats a dead give away that your parenting was rather less than effective, yes?

Besides - any teen with a spine will just start lying and living a double life. Any teen that doesn't is just a totally cowed social retard, basically. Or is a glassy-eyed, pod person just like their parents.

So, under this plan, you either end up with a liar, or a whipped spineless coward, or another obtuse piece of fodder for the its-too-hard-to-think-for-myself-religious minority. None of which *I* personally want as a child and heir.

I've raised two teens. My stepkids.They are both grown. No promiscouis behavious, no STD's, no pregnancies. No criminal records.

I didn't beat them over the head with the Bible, or blanket them with guilt. I didn't withold honest information about birth control, or STD's, but neither did I scare them with unreal odds of getting them, either.

Instead, I stressed school and activities. Made sure they had plenty of entertaining things to do.

I told them to respect and love themselves, and realize they were more than just a sexual being.

I told them not to let anyone push them into something they didn't REALLY want to do. I told them that they would know when the right time was, and that the only person who would know the right time WAS them. Because in the end, they, like all the rest of us - would have to assume responsibility for their actions.

They are grown now. They made good decisions. They waited until they were in their late teens, one waited until marriage, I think. I'm proud of them both. We are still close, even though their father and I are divorced. And I plan on using the same method with my two little girls - just a baby and a toddler now, but I know that day will come.

I'd rather use honesty and love and empowerment, than threats and guilt. Because I don't want to alienate MY kids to the point where a postcard is all I get, and I don't get to see my grandkids because I was a hardheaded idiod.

-http://lowderra.blogspot.com/2007/04/hello-love-you-wish-you-werent-nuts.html

Okay, thing one: Courtship is silly, and putting the word Biblical in front of it makes it neither Biblical nor good. The idea of courtship is that parents have an enormous amount of control over who your future marriage partner will be, the two people involved are NEVER alone together (cuz they might have sex! that's immediately what happens when opposite sexes are alone together!) and there is never any hand holding, kissing, hugging, etc.

Well, let's see. What could be wrong with that? Well, first off, it assumes the parents have a CLUE about who is actually a good marriage partner for their child. It assumes the parents listen to God about this, instead of their own prejudices and social norms. It assumes that the child is too spiritually weak and intellectually stupid to have any idea who they should marry. If your child is actually ready for marriage, they're ready to pick their own marriage partner. If they're not ready to pick their own marriage partner, then, as a parent, YOU HAVE ALREADY FAILED in that area of parenting! Sure, you still may be able to help them pick up the pieces after a bad marriage, or help them turn a bad marriage into a good one, but your lessons on "What is a good marriage" and "What makes a good spouse" were lost on deaf ears.

Secondly, it mistakenly assumes that lust cannot be had in the presence of others. Sure, maybe sex cannot be had in the presence of a good chaperone. But lust can be had in a classroom of 35; lust can be had in a packed baseball stadium. Lust can be had in your grandmother's parlor. You cannot stop someone else from having lustful thoughts. And frankly, the idea that two people would get married without having even the remotest lustful thought toward the other is unlikely and scary. Marriage is supposed to have passion. Want a good way to get your husband to file for divorce? How about telling him "I'm so glad to sleep with you in duty to the Lord." Yeah, that's exactly what most men want, right? Or women, for that matter. To assume that passion would not exist 30 seconds before the vows and comes into existence immediately after "you may kiss the bride" is naive.

How about raising your children, and then letting them live their lives when they are adults? What makes you so certain you have all the answers? And frankly, what makes you so certain that YOU are responsible for making choices for your adult children? Guess what? YOU are not perfect. Maybe, just maybe, you should focus on perfecting your own life rather than leaping to perfect the lives of others. Oh, and guess what.....That's Biblical.

And by the way, Biblical methods of "getting together" weren't necessarily good. Would you like to trade 14 years of labor for 2 daughters? Oh.....and yes, that's 2 daughters (and 2 maids) for ONE man. We don't treat women as a trading commodity anymore. For good reason.

Oh, and last thing on this subject (and yes, we're back on lust). Would you try to convince your children that they should never be angry? No. Yet we are told "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath" in Eph 4:26. Do you feel compelled to keep your adult children awake until they're not angry anymore? Of course not.

-http://meangoose.blogspot.com/2007/04/things-on-my-mind.html


I'll be posting both sides of the issue. These are just things I've bookmarked.

why I disagree with courting

I made the following post on my favorite message board. I plan to do a series on my views about dating soon.

I disagree that "casual" dating leads to a divorce mentality and sexual activity. I have no problem casually dating someone. While I never would waste my time dating someone I could not even think of marrying, I don't feel like I'm giving my heart away to every guy I meet.

I am anything but promiscuous. I am very proud of the fact that I am waiting for marriage (and in fact have kissed very few guys) and actually try to mentor a lot of younger girls to let them know you can have fun, meet guys but not have sex (I'm in a sorority for goodness sakes!)- and by no sex I mean NO sex. Nothing you wouldn't be ashamed of doing if your parents were in the room (which for me is only a quick kiss).

I value my parent's input and listen to what they have to say. But honestly I feel that if I'm mature enough to pay my own bills (my house rent at school, my cell phone, car insurance, books, etc), take care of myself and lead a productive life, than I can make proper adult decisions in terms of my relationships.

My parents have raised me well and in a Christian home. I don't automatically lose my morals because a cute guy is in the room.

But to answer the original question I would not date a non-Christian. Jesus is the center of my life. I could not share my life with someone who did not feel the same way.

Interesting

You Are 81% Feminist

You are a total feminist. This doesn't mean you're a man hater (in fact, you may be a man). You just think that men and women should be treated equally. It's a simple idea but somehow complicated for the world to put into action.

Are You a Feminist?

AMEN!

Leaving on a Jet Plane

I'm leaving for vacation in 1 day and 3 hours. I am so excited. Although I think my family is less so. You see I have a confession to make: I am an uber planner. It doesn't matter where I'm going or for how long. I need to make an itenary weeks in advance and pass out maps,etc.

Needless to say..my three year old niece better keep up with us adults because SO HELP HER IF SHE MESSES UP MY TIMETABLE!!! Just kidding. I did add 20 minutes or so into each day for bathroom breaks and meals :P

Let's play a game, well two actually. One is a travel meme:

How many bags do you usually pack for a one week vacation? I pack 1 carry on. I can't stand waiting for luggage.


How many outfits do you take? enough to make about 14 outfits. I mean you never know..I may meet prince charming and maybe actually have to um coordinate!


Do you shorten your beauty routine? HA I wish. I work with toddlers all day, remember? So if anything I want to look glamorous on vacay! I've packed all my makeup, flat iron, hair dryer....


Do you sleep on the plane? Yes. I really have to make myself,otherwise I have motion sickness.

Do you tip housekeeping at the hotel? No. Are we sopposed to? If I did do you think they'd actually wash those comforters lol

So anyone who reads my blog, feel free to do this on your blog and let me know in the comment section.

And my second game is Guess where I'm going!

Let's see: It's roughly the size of Manhatten. There are 3 major areas. Near the home of N*Sync. North of Cuba. Rodents roam free.

Leave your guesses in the comment section!!

See you next week :)

Why you need to pay your CCP a decent wage

I'm a nanny.

I LOVE being a nanny. It is actually a thrill to go to work everday. And although I mainly do this because I enjoy being around children, I also enjoy my paycheck.

Retaining child care providers (CCP) is extremely hard. It's mainly because few families want to pay CCPs what they deserve. Why is it that few people will type at a desk all day for $3-$5 an hour; yet fully expect someone to run after their child, discipline, clean, cook and change diapers for that amount? It's not going to happen. And if it does you'll get someone who:

isn't going to stay long
is illegal
or all of the above.

No matter how cute and cuddly your child is, minimum wage (OR LESS THAN) will not make someone continue to watch them for a long period of time.

Sorry not going to happen.

Your CCP is basically parenting you child for the 40+ hours a week you're going at work. If they aren't worth a decent wage (at least $10 an hour), then you need to find someone else.

This craig's list post says it best:

To those of you looking to hire quality caregivers, please consider the quality of the employee you will receive when you offer anything less than $10.00 per hour per one child. I live in [XXXX] where the cost of living is comparable but slighty less than that of [XXX]. The babysitters (meaning those who do little more than making sure your child is safe, fed and put to bed) earn a minimum of $10.00 per hour. As parents, you all know the demands of childcare. Not to mention, home management care, errands, shopping ,meal prep, laundry, light housekeeeping, pet care, etc. All things that go along with daylight childcare. Please consider those you employ more respectfully so that you may receive a higher grade caregiver for those you love. Sincerely, THE NANNY

Reasone #934849002 why waiting is SO hard

Ok, I'm not a HUGE American Idol fan. But when I heard Robin Thicke was on their today...I def. went and fast forwarded to his performace. Wow I am in love :P




But hey I'm sure the guy who's "lost without me" is just around the corner...right??

More about me:

I found this on some blogs:

. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? My aunts
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Umm last week...I had a horrible day at work.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?I LOVE it. Even though everyone else thinks it looks like a 3rd grader
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Ham
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? No...but being that I'm a super awesome Nanny, babysitter and aunt...I'm ALWAYS around kids
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Obviously
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? See #6
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yep
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Yes ...and I'm prob going parasailing next week!!
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Puffins, Frosted Mini Wheats
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? I always wear flip flops
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Physically yes. Emotionally...no I am always crying :)
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?Cookie Dough
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?Their purse
15. RED OR PINK? PINK
16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My thighs... OH how I hate those things
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My granny
18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Khaki shorts and grey/pink Reefs
19. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Blueberry Muffin
20. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? My typing and the fish tank
21. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Pink
22. FAVORITE SMELLS? Toddlers after they've eaten a fruitcup, cake mix, Clinque Happy
23. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? My Mom and Dad
24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Oh....probably Basketball
25. HAIR COLOR? Black (well it's turning brown b/c of the summer)
26. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?Rumor has it. I'm a sucker for those romantic comedies
27. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?A pink (what else?) sorority shirt
28. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? A gazillion. Let's see: Believing God, A bunch of travel books (for my VACAY NEXT WEEK!!!), Get out of that pit (well actually I just finished it...but it is AMAZING. The lord is def. working through Beth Moore. I LOVE her books). And a biography on some Vanderbilts.
29. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I'm pretty good at picking stuff up super fast.

A few thoughts

I discovered the world of Christian bloggers and message boards about 2 years ago. Since then my folder for bookmarked blog links has grown enormously long and I am on blog lines all.the.time.

But I just don't fit in with a lot of the Christian bloggers. I go to college, and thankful of my education and I don't think it makes me less of a woman.

I wear pants and shorts and don't think it makes me any less feminine.

I wasn't homeschooled and attended a secular private school.

I watch TV and honestly don't see it as being evil (I'm just discerning in what I watch).

I don't see a problem with dating (although I am saving myself for marriage) and I've *gasped* kissed guys before (and no they don't have pieces of my heart thankyouverymuch).

I seek my parent's advice on most things, but I'm a grown woman who works, goes to school and pays my bills (most of them anyway!) so, no my father doesn't dictate everything I do.

While I like to cook and do homekeeping, I'm also excited about my future career and plan on working after marriage/kids--- and sending my kids to private school.

Vision Forum freaks me out.

I can not stand denim jumpers and think they look absolutely horrible on anyone over 5 years old.

WOW I feel a lot better. And you know what? I'm still a Christian. I'm still a child of God. And doing this things (or not doing them) is not going to make me lose my salvation at all.

ladyinwaiting.

Introduction

Hi! I'm ladyinwaiting.

I'm a 20 year old college student, single right now. About to move in with some friends of mine in a house. I LOVE the Lord and wish I could say I'm go to church every Sunday and study my Bible everynight. The truth is I don't and I'm working to change that.

I'm also working on my patience in turns of my love life. But yall I want to be a great relationship NOW....but I know (or rather and learning to know) that the Lord knows best about when that relationship should come. So for now I'm just a lady in waiting....

:)